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Bald and Beautiful

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by Megan Costanzo

Have you ever been mistaken for somebody else? This year, at Morro Bay High School, there are eight male teachers who are all doppelgangers.

Unofficially known as the “Bald Bunch”, there are currently eight qualified members: Ryan Mortensen, Ryan Turner, Sean Alstott, Tim May, Steve Gade, Chris Spahr, Ryan Mammarella, and Brynn Belyea.

“Most of the mistaken identity occurs at the beginning of the school year,” says Health and PE teacher Mr. Allstot.

One of the newer teachers on campus, Special Day class instructor Mr. Mortensen, immediately noticed that he was an official member of this unofficial club. “I seriously get told, ‘Wow you look like a bunch of other guys at this school!’” 

Location seems to be a big factor in the mistaken identities. Mr. Spahr and Mr. Gade are on the East side of campus often are mistaken for each other, while mistaken identities on the West side of campus include Mr. Allstot, Mr. Turner, and Mr. Mammarella. Applied Chemistry and Biotechnology instructor Mr. Gade shared that he often is greeted by a, “Oh hi, Mr. TurnerImeanMrMammarella- ImeanMrSpahrImeanMrGade!” 

Other unofficial names for the group of teachers include “Bald and Beautiful,” “Chrome Domes”, and “Super 8”.

English teacher Mr. Mammarella shared a funny memory. “A few years ago, at the grand opening of the new Auto Shop, a bunch of us were there and were all wearing the same Morro Bay shirt. All the students were confused and kept calling us by the wrong names.”     

When asked what they do when they are mistaken for another teacher, most of the members said they are pretty chill about it. “I usually pretend like I know a lot about math,” joked Mr Allstot. Geometry teacher Mr. Turner added, “Sometimes I play the part and sometimes I say ‘I’m better looking than THAT guy!’”

When asked how the members feel about being grouped together like this, Mr. Spahr stated, “Ha!! I love it.”

“What an elite crew!” added Mr. Allstot. “I’m guessing there will be a lot of tall guys starting to shave their heads to try and get in.”

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